For My Family and Alleged Friends – A Request
I’ve gone through some effort in my life to simplify and uncomplicate it. As such, I have a radical experiment I’d like to do with you.
But first an explanation.
I’ve tried hard to be open and honest. As such, I’ve come to speak my mind a lot… probably too much. And so, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve probably alienated several of you, made others of you angry, and appeared arrogant, condescending, and abrasive. Perhaps you think I’m too judgmental. Maybe you don’t like me because you think I’m too intolerant.
I get it. That’s fine. I’m sorry, but not very much.
We’re all judgmental to some degree, maybe I’m more so than you can tolerate. Guess you know where I’m going with that –> We all have standards of tolerance beyond which we cannot go.
That’s fantastic. We’re in agreement!
If you think I’m arrogant or condescending, I’m sorry. The way I see it, there are only a few possibilities:
1) I’m more stupid than I think I am or I’m more stupid than I sound like I think I am.
2) I sound like a person confident in my opinions and you feel threatened by it.
I really hope it’s #2 (even though I have no idea what to do about it), but suspect it’s probably #1.
Either way, as I said, I’m sorry. I’m tired of trying to figure it out.
If you think I’m abrasive, I probably am. My openness, honesty, and judgmental nature precludes me from being able to worry too much if my opinions offend you. I don’t mean to be offensive. I don’t even like being offensive. I try not to be offensive. I mean, if I haven’t told you that I thought you were being an idiot at one time or another, then I’ve probably tried to avoid being offensive. But there it is.
If you think I’m too open or too honest… well, come on… honestly. Sheesh.
Maybe you dislike me for other reasons altogether. Who knows? Who cares? If you’re not going to tell me, then I guess you don’t. Maybe if you do, I won’t care. Won’t know until you try, though, huh?
There, now, that’s out of the way. Let’s continue with the experiment (and if you don’t have the courage to do this yourself, feel free to ask someone to do it on your behalf).
I think two things are the case:
- If you’re my friend and you like me, you don’t mind me saying what I have to say.
- If you’re my “friend”, but you don’t like me, then you probably do mind me saying what I have to say.
If you fall into the second category (you know… the acquaintance who pretends to be “ok” with me, but smiles and nods their head alot or just waits and sighs with relief the moment I leave the conversation), then let’s do this:
Tell me you don’t like me.
That way I know what to talk to you about and what to avoid avoid talking to you about. You won’t be bored or offended listening to me or my opinions. Unless we’re amongst a group of mutual friends, but then you won’t offend me by walking away. Because, see, we’d have an understanding. I don’t have to worry about being open with you, this way. I’ll still be honest unless you ask me not to be, but whatever.
Plus, if you tell me you don’t like me, it most likely won’t hurt my feelings (ok, maybe in few rare cases), but this way we can avoid playing stupid games. I don’t have to pretend to care about the stupid crap you talk about and you don’t have to pretend to care about the stupid crap I talk about. When you leave to go home, I don’t have to say, “Take care.” And when I fall down, you can laugh without feeling embarassed. See how much easier that would be?
Maybe you think I can’t “work” with you if you tell me you don’t like. Quite contrary. In fact, not only can I work with you, but I can work with you without you having to listen to my mouth. See how wonderful that is?
So, c’mon, let’s try! It doesn’t matter who you are. Don’t like me? Say so. I’ll just say, “Ok,” and, “Thanks for letting me know.”
Oh, and if you don’t give one’s rat’s ass about me:
Tell me you don’t care one way or the other about me.
This way, perhaps, we can exclude each other from each other’s lives. Simple and uncomplicated.
